Men on the verge of a nervous breakdown: what’s blocking their sex drive?
On International Women’s Day, the spotlight is on men who try to make women happy. And, although a significant part of happiness can be found …between the sheets, men today have fallen victims not only of recession but also of a newly- created love crisis!
Women today are “knocking down” men, sometimes in purpose and sometimes unintentionally, messing up with their sex drive, leading them towards sexual inactivity, insecurity, boredom and, finally, sexual dysfunction.
There are many factors blocking sex drive in men. The change in traditional gender roles, financial hardship bringing survival to the foreground, comparisons against other men, criticism by women…
“There was a time when men were seen as heroes, with masculine traits; warriors; knights; indefatigable in the sexual arena. They loved adventure, chasing after women and making heads turn their way as they walked by… They were living up to women’s fantasies coming from movies such as Casablanca, Notorious or An Affair to Remember… points out Dr Konstantinos Konstantinidis, andrologist – urologist, President at Andrology Institute Athens.
“It’s true.. those men are gone forever. Women admit it: men don’t flirt anymore, they don’t risk rejection, they don’t spend a fortune to make women fall for them, they don’t even take them out for a coffee as they have no money to spend”.
Women want everything from men… Love, devotion, security and the prospect of motherhood.
Who’s the man?
This security that women need is what brings men down today. According to Dr Konstantinidis, men are seeing their sex life being tormented. They try to play safe but this is only devastating to their role.
“In the old days, masculinity was easily defined. Man – pants, woman – skirt; it was all in order and sexuality was straightforward; the role of men was to be alert and ready for action and women were bringing out all their femininity, waiting to be loved and accepted.
Hercules and Helen of Troy, two figures in full opposition. Men and women were playing their roles sticking to the script: no passive man would ever meet an energetic and aggressive female figure.
So, the first reason why men are dealing with a nervous breakdown today, is because they are not sure whether their masculine outfit can guarantee them a male identity” points out Dr Konstantinidis.
Gender ambiguity seems to be the reason for today’s identity crisis. And, based on scientific studies, men are afraid of being compared against other men.
On the other hand, infidelity has its own specific gravity. A woman says that she didn’t just sleep with another man; she slept with a man that is better than her partner, someone with whom she could have children. So the other guy is better than her partner.
“This comparison is devastating to men. A man no longer feels secure as he looses his exclusive privileges over his partner. But, at the same time he starts to question his mother’s saying… that he is the one and only, the most beautiful man in the whole world” explains the President of Andrology Institute.
According to the doctor, other factors blocking sex drive in men are:
• Being afraid of having their faults or weaknesses exposed, as women don’t spend their time behind closed doors but are either working or out and about with friends speaking their minds without fear
• Admitting to their sexual weaknesses
• Not being sure about their performance in the sexual arena
• Knowing that there better men are out there
• Feeling that they lack in size
• Thinking that their wives are avoiding sex coming up with the “headache cliché”. They are being rejected.
• Knowing that women criticize everything: their snoring, their performance in bed, how they treat their family and even their financials and how they do at work
• Being uncertain about their masculinity
• Seeing homosexuality being promoted as normal
“What we also need to point out is that the average man, in a magic, almost totemic way, believes that his own sexual desires are absolutely healthy, ethical and acceptable by society, while a woman’s desires are always suspicious for infidelity and afterthought” says Dr. Konstantinidis.
There is a great distance between admitting to “sea and fire and woman, three evils” and saying that all women are s***s…, except for mommy.
To my opinion, this is what women see and that is why they don’t take men seriously anymore. So I understand how women are right when they say that “there aren’t any good men left”, adds the President of Andrology Institute.
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